
GIMP configure-script

[...]

checking for perl... /usr/bin/perl
checking for perl version >= 5.004_04... yes
checking for vsnprintf... yes
checking for intelligent life... not found              
checking for _exit... yes
configure: creating ./config.status
config.status: creating gimp-1.2.1
config.status: creating gimprc
config.status: creating gimprc_user
config.status: creating gimprc-1.2.5

[...]

%

Enlightenment configure-script

checking for mike in mae_ling... yes

checking for mass_quantities_of_bass_ale in -lFridge... no
  Warning: No ales were found in your refrigerator. We highly suggest that you
  rectify this situation immediately.

checking for life_signs in -lKenny... no
  Oh my god, they killed Kenny! You bastards!

%

KVIRC configure-script

checking whether to enable support for font anti-aliasing... yes
checking whether to use new pics... yes
checking for the validity of Maxwell's laws on this machine... ok
checking if e=mc²... yes, enabling quantum mechanics
checking if this machine passes the Turing Test... no, building without AI :(
checking if we can safely swap on /dev/fd0... yes
checking if we can blame it on Njård... yes
checking if we finally can compile the plugins... yes
checking if we finally have to compile the KDE support... yes

%

der was ich mal in einem logfile fand:

  time is going backwards marty...i will fix that

oder so ähnlich, weil ich die uhr nach hinten verstellt hatte....

%

HERMES configure-script

checking whether x86 assembly is desired... yes
checking for debug level... 0

If two people are in a room ...

checking for long... yes
checking size of long... 4
checking for int... yes
checking size of int... 4
checking for char... yes
checking size of char... 1
checking for short... yes
checking size of short... 2

... and five walk out ...

checking whether byte ordering is bigendian... no
no
checking for money... none left :(
checking for assembler support... Linux i686, assembler routines enabled!
configure: creating ./config.status
config.status: creating Makefile
config.status: creating src/Makefile
config.status: creating src/hrconfig.h
config.status: executing depfiles commands

... how many have to walk in for the room to be empty ?

Turn on your -O6 now!
Welcome to Hermes 1.3.2!

%

Das GNOME-Panel 2.2.0.1

Dieses Program ist verantwortlich für das Starten anderer Anwendungen,
das Einbetten von kleinen Applets in sich selber, den Weltfrieden, und
grundlose X-Abstürze.

%

Entnommen aus der /etc/ppp/auth-up von SuSE 9.0


auth-up)
NAME='up '
if [ "$AUTHNAME" = 'BillGates' ]; then
	/sbin/isdnctrl hangup $IFNAME
fi
;;

%

bei kvirc gibts auch die configure-Option --with-pizza - wofür auch immer die
gut ist. 

%

applicom.c:532:2: Warnung: #warning "Je suis stupide. DW. - copy*user in cli"

%

/var/tmp/portage/openoffice-1.1.1-r1/work/oo_1.1.1_src/solver/645/unxlngi4.pro/inc/svtools/sbx.hxx:195:
warning: `class SbxAlias' only defines a private destructor and has no friends 

%

Hab mir mal ne Bootdiskette gebastelt und da sagte der Kernel bei jedem
login-Versuch meinerseits:

you do not exist - go away please

%

ch hab mal mit dem Kernel auf Debian rumgespielt und aus Uebermuedung einiges
falsch gemacht. Beim Booten bekam ich dann diese Meldung:

  "I have no root and I want to scream"

Tja, vermutlich waren die Module fuer die Speaker noch nicht geladen 

%

Hatte vor einiger Zeit mal den SuSE Linux Office Server installiert.
Wenn man sich da als normaler Benutzer mittels su root-Rechte verschaffen wollte
und man das Passwort falsch eingab kamen so nette Meldungen wie:

  Denkst du, wie du tippst?

Das konnte man beliebig oft machen, es kam immer was neues (und ich habs oft
probiert ;-)) 

%

Das hab ich gerade bei yaboot (Bootloader für PPCs) gefunden.

mkofboot: Creating HFS filesystem on /dev/hda2...
mkofboot: Installing first stage bootstrap /usr/lib/yaboot/ofboot onto /dev/hda2...
mkofboot: Installing primary bootstrap /usr/lib/yaboot/yaboot onto /dev/hda2...
mkofboot: Installing /etc/yaboot.conf onto /dev/hda2...
mkofboot: Setting attributes on ofboot...
mkofboot: Setting attributes on yaboot...
mkofboot: Setting attributes on yaboot.conf...
mkofboot: Blessing /dev/hda2 with Holy Penguin Pee...
mkofboot: Updating OpenFirmware boot-device variable in nvram...
mkofboot: Installation complete.

%

static void happy_meal_tcvr_write(struct happy_meal *hp,
                                  unsigned long tregs, int reg,
                                  unsigned short value)
{
        int tries = TCVR_WRITE_TRIES;
                                                                                                              
        ASD(("happy_meal_tcvr_write: reg=0x%02x value=%04x\n", reg, value));
                                                                                                              
        /* Welcome to Sun Microsystems, can I take your order please? */
        if (!(hp->happy_flags & HFLAG_FENABLE))
                return happy_meal_bb_write(hp, tregs, reg, value);
                                                                                                              
        /* Would you like fries with that? */
        hme_write32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME,
                    (FRAME_WRITE | (hp->paddr << 23) |
                     ((reg & 0xff) << 18) | (value & 0xffff)));
        while (!(hme_read32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME) & 0x10000) && --tries)
                udelay(20);
                                                                                                              
        /* Anything else? */
        if (!tries)
                printk(KERN_ERR "happy meal: Aieee, transceiver MIF write bolixed\n");
                                                                                                              
        /* Fifty-two cents is your change, have a nice day. */
}

%

GSTreamer configure-script

configure: WARNING: Sissy ! By asking to not build the tests known to fail, you
hereby waive your right to customer support. If you do not agree with this EULA,
please press Ctrl-C before the next line is printed. By allowing the next line
to be printed, you expressly acknowledge your acceptance of this EULA.

%

Perl configure-script

*** WHOA THERE!!! ***
    The previous value for $usemultiplicity on this machine was "undef"!
        Keep the previous value? [y] n

	Hmm...  Looks kind of like an OSF/1 system, but we'll see...

	Congratulations.  You aren't running Eunice.

	It's not Xenix...

	Nor is it Venix...
	Use which C compiler? [cc]

	Checking for GNU cc in disguise and/or its version number...
	You are not using GNU cc.

	Hmm...  Doesn't look like a MIPS system.

	Now, how can we feed standard input to your C preprocessor...
	Keeping your previous cppstdin wrapper.
	Configure: cppstdin: not found
	Good old cppstdin  does not seem to be of any help...
	Maybe "cc -E" will work...
	Nope...maybe "cc -E -" will work...
	Nope...maybe "cc -P" will work...
	Nope...maybe "cc -P -" will work...
	No such luck, maybe "/usr/local/bin/cpp" will work...
	It works!
	Perhaps can we force cc -E using a wrapper...
	Yup, we can.
	[...]
	You may also choose to try maximal 64-bitness.  It means using as much
	64-bitness as possible on the platform.  This in turn means even more
	binary incompatibilities.  On the other hand, your platform may not
	have any more 64-bitness available than what you already have chosen.
	<-  WTF???

	If this doesn't make any sense to you, just accept the default 'y'.
	(The default has been chosen based on your configuration.)
	Try to use maximal 64-bit support, if available? [y]

%

Evidence Fehlermeldung

ORE ERROR: Ecore Magic Check Failed!!!
*** IN FUNCTION: ecore_timer_del()
  Input handle is wrong type
      Expected: f7d713f4 - Ecore_Timer (Timer)
          Supplied: 00000000 - <UNKNOWN>
	  *** NAUGHTY PROGRAMMER!!!
	  *** SPANK SPANK SPANK!!!
	  *** Now go fix your code. Tut tut tut!

	  Killed

%

drivers/usb/printer.c:

static char *usblp_messages[] = { "ok", "out of
> paper", "off-line", "on fire" };

%

Grip FAQ

Q: I was listening to a CD in Grip and it sounded horrible! What's up?
A: Perhaps you are listening to country music... 

%

audio_alsa_out: Warning: How am I supposed to RESUME, if I am not PAUSED.
audio_out.c, please don't call me! 

%

hab enlightenment selber kompiliert, ohne esound-unterstützung. stattdessen
kommt jetzt immer ein geräusch vom beeper, aber kein *beep*, sondern ein
"zischen" (oder wie man das nennen mag), z.b. wenn ein neues fenster geöffnet
oder die arbeitsfläche gewechselt wird. finde ich irgendwie abgefahren 

%

Caveat

Most of the features discussed in this article are only available to you if you
are running Apache 1.2 or later. Of course, if you are not running Apache 1.2 or
later, you need to upgrade immediately, if not sooner. Go on. Do it now. We'll
wait. 

%

ddate (06.01.2011)

Today is Sweetmorn, the 6th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177

%

drivers/macintosh/therm_windtunnel.c

fan_table[] = {
   { 11, T(0,0),  11 },    /* min fan */
   {  1, 0xfffff, 1 }      /* on fire */
}

%

Scorched 3D configure-script

Checking for -lbeer in -lfridge... There's no beer in the fridge! We recommend
you to rectify this situation immediately 

%

...
checking for inline... __inline__
checking for bc... no

configure: error: Your system doesn't have "bc", which has been a standard
part of Unix since the 1970s. Come back when your vendor has grown a clue. 

%

wenn man keine menüdatei im .enlightenment-verzeichnis hat, aber e16menuedit startet:

  hmm. looks like you have some "issues" as you don't have
  a /home/flash/.enlightenment/file.menu file.  Sucks to be you

%

amarok 1.3 mit debugging:

amarok: BEGIN: virtual bool XineEngine::init()
amarok: 'Bringing joy to small mexican gerbils, a few weeks at a time.'

%

gift-fasttrack Dokumentation

Obviously we take no responsibility as to what this code does to your hardware,
software, physical or mental health. Then again, running KaZaA in wine may destroy
all of the above. 

%

Aus der Manpage von watch:

  EXAMPLES
  [...]
  You can watch for your administrator to install the latest kernel with

  watch uname -r

  (Just kidding.) 

%

RRDTool configure-script

config.status: creating Makefile
config.status: creating config.h
config.status: executing depfiles commands
config.status: executing default commands
checking in... and out again
ordering CD from http://people.ee.ethz.ch/~oetiker/wish ...

%

in irgendeiner frühen SuSE-Version kam auch mal eine Meldung "Entschuldigen sie
untertänigst, aber ihnen fehlen leider die Rechte um <programm> auszuführen"

%

amaroK-Icon -> Rechtsklick -> Properties -> Type: Uncle Rodney says: "10/10
amaroK is seriously super!"

%

KOrganizer Handbuch:

"Anmerkung
Die meiste Arbeit wurde schon automatisch erledigt. KOrganizer stellt
standardmäßig wöchentliche Wiederholung ein. Sie werden auch feststellen, dass
Kein Abschlussdatum ausgewählt ist. Das heißt, dass das Ereignis jeden Montag
wiederholt wird (ab Montag, dem 12.02.2001) bis zum Ende des Universums (oder
bis Sie das Ereignis löschen, je nachdem was vorher kommt)." 

%

Windows XP hat ein "feature" mit dem es auf Tastendruck abstützt: Man muss nur
unter HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Servic es\i8042prt\Parameters
den DWORD Wert CrashOnCtrlScroll = 1 erstellen. Nach einem Neusart stürtzt XP
nach dem Drücken von STRG+Rollen brav mit einem Bluescreen ab. 

%

Amarok 1.3.1 Hilights:

Um eine Audio-CD abzuspielen, wählen Sie in der Menüleiste bitte
Aktionen->Audio-CD abspielen. Es öffnet sich ein Datei-Browser mit mehreren
Ordnern und den CD-Stücken im WAV-Format. Ziehen Sie die WAV-Dateien einfach in
die Wiedergabeliste und drücken Sie dann den Knopf Wiedergabe.

Anmerkung
Die Audio-CD-Funktion benutzt das Protokoll audiocd:/ und ist inkompatibel mit
allen verfügbaren Treibern.

%

/usr/src/linux/Documentation/ManagementStyle:guy who lost his whole 36GB
porn-collection because of your incompetence

%

Wine Fehlermeldung:

err:int:INSTR_IDT_Emulate Evil attempt to exploit win9x system security flaws detected 
err:int:INSTR_IDT_Emulate UNIX system security is too strong, can't emulate properly

%

Amarok 1.3.5 ChangeLog

Fix amaroK attempting to destroy your computer, reach through the monitor and
violently strangle you if you attempt to exit while the collection is being scanned.

%

aus /var/log/messages nach einem NFS-Unmount:

Dec 6 07:46:24 $(hostname) kernel: VFS: Busy inodes after unmount. Self-destruct
in 5 seconds. Have a nice day...

%

Unbuffer ManPage:

BUGS
The man page is longer than the program.

%

Wine Newsletter

This is the 209th issue of the Wine Weekly News publication. Its main goal is to
officially begin procrastinating on taxes. It also serves to inform you of
what's going on around Wine. 

%

Wine Newsletter

This is the 298th issue of the Wine Weekly News publication. Its main goal is to
start skiing again. It also serves to inform you of what's going on around Wine. 

%

Aus der amaroK-Roadmap:

Version 3.0
Estimated Release Date: Released concurrently with the 6th French republic.
amaroK will be re-written in Ruby.

%

NMAP configure-script

checking if struct ip has ip_sum member... yes
configure: creating ./config.status
config.status: creating Makefile
config.status: creating nsock_config.h

  (  )   /\   _                 (     
    \ |  (  \ ( \.(               )                      _____
  \  \ \  `  `   ) \             (  ___                 / _   \
 (_`    \+   . x  ( .\            \/   \____-----------/ (o)   \_
- .-               \+  ;          (  O                           \____
                          )        \_____________  `              \  /
(__                +- .( -'.- <. - _  VVVVVVV VV V\                 \/
(_____            ._._: <_ - <- _  (--  _AAAAAAA__A_/                |
  .    /./.+-  . .- /  +--  - .     \______________//_              \_______
  (__ ' /x  / x _/ (                                  \___'          \     /
 , x / ( '  . / .  /                                      |           \   /
    /  /  _/ /    +                                      /              \/
   '  (__/                                             /                  \
             NMAP IS A POWERFUL TOOL -- USE CAREFULLY AND REPONSIBLY
Configuration complete.  Type make to compile.

%

GAIM configure-script

"Again, this is a beta release and should not be used by those"
"with a heart condition, if you are pregnant, or if you are under"
"the age of 8. Side-effects include awesomeness, dumbfoundedness,"
"try mouth and lava. Consult your doctor to find out if"
"gaim is right for you."

%

root@toolchain / # USE="make-symlinks" emerge busybox
[...]
 * setting USE=make-symlinks and emerging to / is very dangerous.
 * it WILL overwrite lots of system programs like: ls bash awk grep (bug 60805
 * for full list).
 * If you are creating a binary only and not merging this is probably ok.
 * set env VERY_BRAVE_OR_VERY_DUMB=yes if this is realy what you want.

%

PLIP Dokumentation

Performance
===========

PLIP easily outperforms Ethernet cards....(ups, I was dreaming, but
it *is* getting late. EOB) 

%

diskseekd ManPage:

BUGS
    * Other aspects of Messy Dos' flakiness are not simulated.
    * This section lacks a few smileys.
%

cowsay -f vader.cow Come to the Dark Side Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke
 _______________________
/ Come to the Dark Side \
\ Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke   /
 -----------------------
        \    ,-^-.
         \   !oYo!
          \ /./=\.\______
               ##        )\/\
                ||-----w||
                ||      ||

               Cowth Vader

(Und was bei 'cowsay -f sodomized.cow Aber Bauer Hein' oder
'cowsay -f mutilated.cow Und sie glauben, BSE wäre schlimm'
rauskommt, könnt Ihr ja selbst testen )

%

gerade eben sagte mir nano, als ich aus Versehen [Strg]+[S] gedrückt habe
(wollte speichern und habe diese Combo von zig Programmen einfach intus) kam
folgender netter Hinweis:

  XOFF ignoriert, murmel murmel

%

Conky ManPage:

conky - A system monitor for X originally based on the torsmo code, but
more kickass. It just keeps on given’er. Yeah.

%

GIMP Templates mal anders:

  Toilet paper (US, 300 dpi)

Tipp: wenn es für andere ist... mit dem Tintenstrahler bedrucken.... 

%

PostFix Fehlermeldung

  Error 221: I can break rules, too. Goodbye! 

%

Zeta NetworkManager Fehlermeldung

Nov  4 21:47:23 zeta NetworkManager: 
<WARN>  request_and_convert_scan_results(): card took too much time scanning.
Get a better one. 

%

GParted Meldung

Sie benötigen Administratorrechte um GParted zu starten

Da GParted eine Massenvernichtungswaffe für Ihre Daten sein kann, darf lediglich
der Systemadministrator es verwenden! 

%

Der Thread darf nicht sterben! Darum was neues aus dem LDAP-Schema für
Evolution-Adresseinträge, evolutionperson.schema:

# spouseName
# single valued (/me smirks)
attributetype ( 1.3.6.1.4.1.8506.1.2.8
        NAME 'spouseName'
        SUP name
        SINGLE-VALUE )

%

%

Changelog * Fri Aug 07 2009 Kristian Høgsberg <krh<at>redhat.com> - 2.8.0-4
- Add dri2-page-flip.patch to enable full screen pageflipping.
Fixes XKCD #619.

%

Meldung von cmake beim Bauen von boost:

...
--  + parameter
--  + accumulators
-- accumulators/docs needs love
--  + system
--  + asio
...

%

pinentry:

`Set the descriptive text to be displayed'
            C: SETDESC Enter PIN for Richard Nixon <nobody@trickydicky.gov>
            S: OK

`Set the window title'
     This command may be used to change the default window title.  When
     using this feature you should take care that the window is still
     identifiable as the pinentry.
            C: SETTITLE Tape Recorder Room
            S: OK

`Ask for a PIN'
     The meat of this tool is to ask for a passphrase of PIN, it is
     done with this command:
            C: GETPIN
            S: D no more tapes
            S: OK

%

configure von mod_python:

...
checking your blood pressure... a bit high, but we can proceed
...

%

openBSD 4.7 - sudo

  $ sudo htop

  We trust you have received the usual lecture from the local System
  Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:

      #1) Respect the privacy of others.
      #2) Think before you type.
      #3) With great power comes great responsibility.

  Password:
  Listen, burrito brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.

  Password:
  You speak an infinite deal of nothing

  Password:
  sudo: htop: command not found

Es geht noch weiter ...

  Password:
  You speak an infinite deal of nothing

  Password:
  Wrong!  You cheating scum!

  Password:
  Where did you learn to type?

  Password:
  You type like i drive.

  Password:
  Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?

%

Die Meldung vom MPlayer, wenn man sich einen wmv-stream lädt:

  "Everything done. Thank you for downloading a media
   file containing proprietary and patented technology."

%

configure von expect:

     checking for stdint.h… yes
     checking for unistd.h… yes
     checking if the compiler understands -pipe… yes
     checking whether byte ordering is bigendian… yes
     …
     checking for sin… no

%

man 5 xorg.conf

VIDEOADAPTOR SECTION
Nobody wants to say how this works. Maybe nobody knows ...

%

